This past Wednesday was Saint Valentine’s Day. Do you remember the story of St. Valentine’s life? (The correct answer is, “Which story? There’s so many to choose from.” In second place is, “He’s not on the Roman calendar anymore, silly.”) So, anyway, I was reminiscing on the year that I dyed my hair black (all of it, eyebrows and goatee included), painted my fingernails (I wanted black for that, too, but had to settle for dark gray, as it was all Chris had) and wore all black to school. (Few souls at the Christian college got the joke; most just thought I was being weird. One professor told me I looked like Rasputin!) Then I did the math and realized I must have done that in 1997 — which would be ten years ago.
My (second) senior year of college was ten years ago. I am old.
Much prior to my Valentine’s reminiscence, I attended Theophany services at my home parish. Having met my new priest a year prior at the parish in Oak Ridge, about an hour from my parents’ home, I was able to meet his wife and son. But not the coming arrival she bears within her. As father welcomed me and my traveling companion into the house, matushka[1] walked out of the kitchen — barefoot and pregnant. (I let her know I wouldn’t forget it. She’s highly educated, so I hope she took it well and wasn’t offended!)
Watching her care for their young son during services on her own, I imagined what things will be like once there’s two. In fact, I kept thinking about it while I was underway for about two and a half weeks.
It takes a very strong woman to be a priest’s wife. During the services, while the priest is completely occupied with the prayers and rituals of the church, she carries the burden of a single mother. It strikes me that the Roman Catholic practice of requiring celibacy of priests is a mercy towards would-be priests’ wives. By freeing priests to focus entirely on service to the Lord, the Roman Catholic Church saves women from marriages to double-minded men.[2]
The price of both is high. But it seems to me that prospective Orthodox priests have a heavy burden when they decide whether to be married or not.